Unfortunately, you might be finding that’s not the case. Instead, you may feel resentful, drained, and isolated.

There’s no lonelier place than in an unhappy relationship.

 We all enter relationships with hopes, fears, and expectations. While at the beginning of a relationship, we focus on what we have in common, as time goes on, especially when life gets more stressful, our differences come roaring to the foreground, leaving both partners feeling disconnected and unhappy.

Relationships are hard.

Before you were paired up, you might have imagined that you would feel secure and stable once you were in a committed relationship. You’d feel like someone had your back. You’d feel loved and understood.

There’s hope.

Many of the skills required to turn a relationship around can be taught. Authentic communication, fruitful collaboration, and intimate connection are all possible with the right kind of support and guidance.

I’ve helped many couples whose connection seemed beyond repair re-build their relationship from the ground up. Couples counseling can be deeply challenging and uncomfortable. But if you’re serious about saving your relationship, it will be more than worth it. That said, you may still have some concerns.

Does Couples Counseling Even Work?

Many couples are skeptical about the effectiveness of couples counseling, especially if they have already tried it and had a negative or mediocre experience. Frankly, many therapists without a lot of experience doing this work shy away from getting to the heart of conflict and avoid having difficult conversations. I will provide direct, efficient feedback on the dynamics I see at play and where I think you’re heading off course. Every session should feel productive and stimulating.

What If It’s Too Late for Us?

The truth is, it might be too late. Not every couple is meant to be together forever. If being together means you are both living at half capacity, then you should separate. But you likely feel you owe it to yourself, your partner, and your family to give it your best shot. And if you decide to end your partnership, therapy can help you do it in a respectful, conscious, and even loving, way. We can explore these questions together and make sure that you and your partner have the tools you need to move forward even if that means separating.

My Partner Would Never Agree to Couples Counseling.

Believe it or not, it only takes one person to change a relationship. If you are unhappy in your relationship, take the initiative to get help on your own. Who knows? Your partner might come around once he or she sees the improvements you are experiencing, especially as you develop communication skills, and getting clear about what you want. If not, you’ll come away with a variety of tools and insights to improve your current relationship or whatever’s next for you.

The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. You owe it to yourself and your partner to make your relationship as good as it can be.